Fiddle

My fiddle is not an extension of my body, and only on rare occasions does it feel even remotely so. It is not an instrument of complete expression for me; it is more a method of communication, a language, which I can use to help myself relate to other people. I can have basic conversations, but I can't talk philosophy or politics very deeply. I can use it to discuss ethics and humor, but not medical science or even music theory. I haven't been speaking with it since wee childhood, so it doesn't feel intuitive, and perhaps never will feel as natural as, say, the English language. I don't quite understand the grammar, but with a little drilling, it could come quickly. Tomorrow I will have a fiddle lesson from Amelia, based on rhythm and back-up, and will come a tiny step closer to understanding this strange cancerous thing that sometimes finds itself attached to my neck. However, somethings simply cannot be taught.