Limb Rick

Dave and I will go down in history for our fine poetry:

I.
I once put domestic abuse
at the top of my list of to-dos
but decided against it
when my ass, shoulders, left tit,
and beaver got covered with booboos.

II.
A guy come to Portland from Wintrop
had trouble with gettin his prick up.
Turns out his fancy
was not his wife Nancy
but his '64 chevrolet pick up.

III.
A man with a great pompadour
forced a girl to lay down on the floor.
He was so sleazy
he got her all greezy
in both the front and the back door.

IV.
There once was a boy who went pee
and asked his classmates to come see
He went to the pisser
but boy did he miss 'er!
His classmates ended up with wet feet.

V.
I know of a man with a mower
who uses it for just one chore:
he shaves his wife's cunt
so he won't have to hunt
when it comes time to fuck, suck and blow her.

VI.
There once was a woman from Paris
who touched herself out on the terrace
she came with such power
that the old Eiffel tower
blew its load all the way to Polaris.

VII.
There once was a chick named Kate
her boobies were massive cock-bait.
When put on display
even a gay
his own skivvies would saturate.

VII.
There once was a fella named Jimmy
whose ass was as wide as a chimney
they tried to extinguish
but couldn't distinguish
the smoke from the smudge on his skivvies.